Catch up!

We arrived safe and sound...exhausted and overwhelmed by sweet greetings! We landed in Texas before we left China on the same day! That crazy just takes it out of you. It's always nice to be Home! We have been busy settling in...Gunnar wrapped his flag football season, Drs checkups for Joli, everyone had a turn being sick, we had Veterans Day and thanksgiving gatherings...its been a whirlwind. All the while smiles on our faces and probably I'm sure looks of distress more then once as we've teetered to find our new normal. 

A supermom I met in China mentioned that adoption exposed our own sin...selfish behaviors...our idols. Not things we jump to expose. 

I've felt so exposed. And more then once like I am just making a huge mess with this catastrophe of ours. But the Lord has just been rolling back with Grace and mercy for this weary Mom. 

Tonight as I was tucking Joli in, tears just leaked out with how good He is. Everything logical and reasonable pointed to a different path for this journey. But this little person's story is so much different then what I was expecting or preparing for. She's had a rough start absolutely!! But in spite of that she is so tender and loving and joy filled...she brings me so much Hope! 

I forget I can't plan what to expect from the Lords path! I've been round this circle before...it continues to expose and also redeem such goodness from God. I do get frustrated thinking- oh here we go again...but really this hard headed momma needs another go! 

All

Is

Grace! 

It is...the good the bad the ugly, the misunderstood, ALL of it. And I'm slowly learning to just press in to that moment of understanding and say Yes Lord! yes! 

Joli is a whopping 21.7lbs...that doesn't sound like much but the change is simply remarkable. I am amazed at her transformation and we are just days in. She babbles off lots of words...Momma, Dada, Harper, Kai Kai, bye bye, hello, no no, sucker ;) and can do a few signs to help with our communication barrier. 

She likes to color and play with stickers. She's getting brave and climbing stairs and chairs! She loves to dance. And she's the best snuggly little thing, we rock and sing...it is absolutely beyond anything I could have imagined. 

I'm a wait for the bottom to fall out of things person. Not glass half full, like my glass has a hole in it kind of person. That's so depressing I know. But I think what God is showing me is this desperate view keeps me searching for Him and when He shows up He shines! Like there's no arguing with Him. 

And thankfully inspite of me. I have this house full of kiddos that amaze me. And I'm allowed new mercies every morning to start again, fresher, and hopefully better then the last...but if not He's still

Good! 

Hump Day!!!

We applied for Joli's visa...when it is in hand we are ready to roll. When we land in TX she'll be our newest little American. We of course brought out our red white and blue for the occasion. 

We took group photos in traditional Chinese dress. Joli was feeling pretty fancy. You could tell she knew just how beautiful she looked! 

Here we are...you can read Kai's excitement...we were ready for lunch half an hour earlier! 

And lunch...I made everyone smile...a picture doesn't really do it justice. The last two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions...but this group! They really helped lift spirits and encourage. It was life in our sails lots of days. And get this?!...this table...a combination of 24 children! I would love to see us all in one room together! Just a dull roar of wonderful ;) I look forward to hearing how your stories continue to unfold. God has been gracious and wonderful to each of us and I'm so grateful He let us break bread together! 

Beyond Beyond

Today we shopped our socks off! We took a short trip to Shamian Island. Used to families would stay on the island to complete their adoptions. This statue is famous for tourists and adoptive families in particular. You see my sweet daughters there? Lol, no because they were scary statues! It's almost like stepping in to Savannah, Georgia...minus the banyan trees. 

Joli loves to walk, and today did lots of exploring...

She's too sweet for words...she has quite the growing personality! 

Kai let her do all the work today...someone is adjusting to this big sister thing. 

Saying hello to a fellow friend. He was kind to her with her being all in his personal space. 

"A yes to the Lord is impossible to qualify on earth because it is Kingdom business. It has eternal repercussions, soul-changing ripples that reach all the way to heaven's shore. That first step into the shallow end is as glorious an act of obedience as the leap off the diving board."-She Reads Truth 

Today we shopped a store that gives back to Chinese orphans. A local stopped us and was asking lots of questions about our girls. She shared that she's adopted herself. She raises money to do heart surgeries for orphans. People really do have an amazing capacity to change the world just one small act at a time. In this place that's so foreign, moments like these make it feel so much like home. It holds stories of our daughters past and our present...we can't help but be overwhelmed by God moving before and behind us. 

As I watch Joli on her shaking legs, taking new steps she reminds me what this journey is like. It is glorious jumping in, but I've often felt my weakness shaking before me. Wading in to the deep and through the unknown carries lots of what if's. Reading that excerpt from She Reads Truth is such a welcome reminder that this journey has repercussions we can't see. 

We just have to keep saying yes...

When we are weary and weak...yes

When we aren't sure if we have the capacity to love...yes

When we get bad news...yes Lord

When the story changes...yes 

Just one small yes at a time! He is a faithful and good good God. 

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus through it all generations, for ever and ever! Amen -Ephesians 3:20-21 

Medical Appointment and River Cruising

We survived Joli's medical appointment. Since she is over 2 she had to have her blood drawn which I was dreading in a big way. There were tears but the nurses were efficient and she recovered with a sucker in no time. This wing is for adoptive families only. CCAI stays full of families so it was also only our agency. Makes for a long morning, but we were happy to check it off our list. Tomorrow morning we have our US consulate appointment! Last step to bringing our Chinese American home...after her visa arrives we are free to head home! 

We finished our day with a pizza party on the Pearl River Cruise. The grand finale is the 3rd tallest tower in the world. It's nice to get out with the other families. Good for morale...laughter is good medicine! 

When Joli smiles her whole face lights up. She's the sweetest teeny girl! 

Gunnar got roped into the entertainment. The clown really didn't give anyone a choice and demanded we take our child's pictures lol. Gunnar was happy to be included. Kai and Joli not so much! 

Traveling with toddlers is just as taxing as it sounds. We are ready to be back together as a family of 7!!!! Miss our big girls more then words can express. But the journey is worth all the miles and lack of sleep. In just a small amount of time we've watched our little girl bloom. Slowly but surely. It is a wonder what love can do! 

Temple Sights/ Old Chen House...and about that boy!

We made it to GZ...last stop before we get this part of the catastrophe joined with our big girls! Flight was less turbulent which was a huge blessing...G played Crossy Road, K napped, and J played and snacked with Dad. It was a success for sure. 

It's nice to have new places to see and of course a countdown to coming HOME. Today we toured a Buddhist temple. Derek missed out on the last trip since he and Tinlee headed home early. So it was fun for him to get to see all the places I remembered. 

Gunnar asked lots of questions about beliefs etc. I am convinced we are ALL made to worship...and if not Jesus someone or something. This temple was built over 1100 years ago, it is a sight. We got to observe monks coming and going and lots of people offering sacrifices and gifts for certain fortunes. 

At the Old Chen House they have all sorts of Art displayed. Jade sculpting, wood sculpting, ivory work, embroidery, calligraphy. We selected a scroll for Joli to match Kai's. There Chinese names are written on them...this time we got to watch him work. It is a beautiful art and a special treasure for them to have from their culture and beginnings. 

While we were there a lady from Kansas recognized Kai from our adoption video. When she recognized Kai she also noticed Derek- when you meet in China, the world seems so small! She was telling Derek how it was part of the inspiration for them to adopt. She had her new sweet baby in her arms and was telling her MIL about us. Is that not crazy?! I'm so thankful God has used sweet Kai to sew into other families for hope in growing their families. In a million years I wouldn't have ever guessed we'd have met face to face! 

Gunnar's favorite attraction of the day. Kai said he is cary (scary) and made sure to cover her face. 

He's strong willed and determined, one day he's going to be a great man. But for real- he pushes me to the limit. I have no idea how to speak his language most days and he makes me feel like I have never parented any little person ever. I've prayed for the seeds that will be sewn on this trip. I know he won't come away from the experience empty handed. His name means Warrior...so shy away is not in his nature. I'm thankful he has come to experience this piece of his sisters history. Being the only boy is a big job, but he's developing quite the character as he continues wrestling with us; he's figuring out who he will be. I know he's destined for big things for sure! 

An outing.

We headed to the aquarium today. The kids fed the sea turtles. 

Kai searched and searched to find Nemo...she was disappointed, but very happy to find Dori! We love blue fish, not pink, orange, yellow or black, BLUE. With exception of Nemo of course. 

Gunnar wanted to see a jellyfish...and the Sharks....pretty cool along with lots of other fish we'd never seen before! 

Our trip here in ZZ has come to an end. Our Peanuts passport is supposed to be delivered some time around 6pm. Tomorrow we head to Guangzhou to get settled in for our last leg of the trip! 

Pray for all the kiddos...this trip is hard. Some are having more trouble transitioning then others. It makes Moms and Dads weary very quickly. 1 week to go...woohoo! 

The silence was deafening....

We didn't visit Kai's orphanage. That day was so hard on Kai we opted out. This round we had a different day to choose from being in the same town. I honestly had no idea what to expect. Joli's orphanage is the largest (800+)in the Henan province. Founded in 2006. I'm not sure if those are bragging points, but hard facts to swallow. That includes all the children on and off site that are considered children from ZZ. 

Joli was living with a foster family who lives in an apartment within the orphanage grounds. We walked from room to room seeing where each newly adopted child was in class or slept. Filled with waiting children, there was this hush over the whole place. Quiet, sterile, sad...even in the best of conditions an orphanage is no place for a child. We followed until we came to a tall building. Her family was tucked within on the 5th floor. 

We went right up, her bed linens folded and ready to be put away in her absence. Such a bizarre feeling standing in that space. So thankful that's no longer her home, but flooded with emotions. Hard to wrap my head around those conditions and care. The foster father had very kind eyes, he was very welcoming, he even asked if I'd like to sit and join him. He said Joli was very smart, a fast learner, and had a mind of her own. He said his wife cried a lot when she left...she entered while we were still there...she came in expecting to see Joli. She wouldn't make eye contact with me, I could see her disappointment and obvious grief. Our guide said they were hoping to see her. It's such a torn place to know we've severed these ties. Just all sorts of crazy emotions I didn't expect to feel. I could hardly squeeze out a thank you for caring for my daughter to be translated. Obvious communication barriers, but love does transcend all language. And they were doing their best. Proud to have had her in their care. 

We didn't see the orphanage as a whole. I'm pretty sure that might have sent me over the edge. Honestly I'm speechless. It's one thing to have an idea, or a photo and thoughts of what it's like. It's a whole new dynamic to walk the halls and be haunted by all those little faces. An orphange is no place for a child. The silence was deafening...