Enjoying sweet summertime of course! My one reader called and caught up on our lives recently. My therapist ask every time I'm in her office if I'm writing what I'm learning. I haven't...it's been an interesting season. I feel like I have been very introspective. And if my writing sounds rambly (I'm pretty sure this is not a word), that's just a glimpse of the noise in my heart and head.
Sometimes being at home is so lonely. As my kids get older the quiet seems to be more deafening every time they leave. That said the task of parenting can be so overwhelming when looking at the time left in my home and all the things I hope they'll take with them for the road ahead. Lots of days I feel ineffective and empty. Flat out exhausted most days. Our church just began this study on Marriage Misconceptions. If you want to be happy stay single...;) There is so much more to this message, but we will hang with that one thought. I told my mom I can't wait to hear how having children won't make you happy either!
We sign up for this white picket fence sweet baby of a thing and it's really our AWAKENING, our refining...our furnace! Because ultimately what God desires of our lives is that we reflect HIS image and some of us need more refining than others so it seems. I'll just raise my hand here...
My daughter was amazed that Jesus Calling would echo what her Mom had been trying to explain to her about her emotions and shrugged shoulders and ungrateful heart. That wouldn't be so hard if I didn't know where she got all of her glowing characteristics...
But this morning in the shower God so gently reminded me that this is anything but insignificant! I get the honor and privilege to see HIM face to face everyday through my children. If I'd take my stare off their imperfections that are mine and so UP in my face all of the time...
I see HIM...
In my oldest, Tinlee, such a gentle empathetic heart for others and those in need. Her desire and passion to GO and tell is so alive and bright in that Child. And I can just hear God echo...It's who I am!
And my Gunnar I have spent all this time wrestling with this BOY child I just don't know what to do with sometimes and this morning it was a revealing of me and the Lord wrestling... And a reminder that wrestling isn't a bad thing...it means I am at ARMS LENGTH...and just as I want my son to be within my grasp...I shouldn't forget my position as a daughter! Wrestling is ok, and encouraged....because HE knows this journey, and HE wants to travel along with me. Wrestling says I'm not giving up on this, it brings me near to HIS heart!
And Harper...such zest for life, charisma and humor that is so needed on so many days! But, mostly that kid is quick to forgive an offense and right a wrong. She has been ever since she was a very little girl. She takes more nudging recently as do we all, but it was such a clear picture that He is in control, He is victorious, and all the time life would be more full of humor if I just laid down my cares to begin with!
And my Kai...her story of redemption, that has nothing to do with me! Her attachment to me really hit home this morning...because I so long to reach out to the Father as she does me. Not just in times of desperation and quiet pleas, but in a way that just says ABBA Father! I just need you, no one else will do!
For an impatient vessel this is such a hard lesson...I don't want to miss the time at HIS feet because I was so grumbling all of the things that are totally out of my control!
As Joli waits...she has no grasp on what is to come! It's interesting to be on the outskirts looking in...but it's evident that even though I can see this part of her story coming...it's HIM who narrates each page. I have to press in, BE STILL, quiet my 1000 thoughts and just remind myself that
This song kept rolling around in my head! Hope it washes over you!
Good Good Father- Housefires...google, you'll be glad you did!
Oh, I've heard a thousand stories of what they think you're like but I've heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night You tell me that you're pleased and that I'm never alone You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am I've seen many searching for answers far and wide But I know we're all searching for answers only you provide Because you know just what we need before we say a word You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways to us You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways to us Oh it's Love so undeniable I, I can hardly speak Peace so Unexplainable I, I can hardly think As you call me deeper still as you call me deeper still as you call me deeper still into love love love You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am
Sometimes being at home is so lonely. As my kids get older the quiet seems to be more deafening every time they leave. That said the task of parenting can be so overwhelming when looking at the time left in my home and all the things I hope they'll take with them for the road ahead. Lots of days I feel ineffective and empty. Flat out exhausted most days. Our church just began this study on Marriage Misconceptions. If you want to be happy stay single...;) There is so much more to this message, but we will hang with that one thought. I told my mom I can't wait to hear how having children won't make you happy either!
We sign up for this white picket fence sweet baby of a thing and it's really our AWAKENING, our refining...our furnace! Because ultimately what God desires of our lives is that we reflect HIS image and some of us need more refining than others so it seems. I'll just raise my hand here...
My daughter was amazed that Jesus Calling would echo what her Mom had been trying to explain to her about her emotions and shrugged shoulders and ungrateful heart. That wouldn't be so hard if I didn't know where she got all of her glowing characteristics...
But this morning in the shower God so gently reminded me that this is anything but insignificant! I get the honor and privilege to see HIM face to face everyday through my children. If I'd take my stare off their imperfections that are mine and so UP in my face all of the time...
I see HIM...
In my oldest, Tinlee, such a gentle empathetic heart for others and those in need. Her desire and passion to GO and tell is so alive and bright in that Child. And I can just hear God echo...It's who I am!
And my Gunnar I have spent all this time wrestling with this BOY child I just don't know what to do with sometimes and this morning it was a revealing of me and the Lord wrestling... And a reminder that wrestling isn't a bad thing...it means I am at ARMS LENGTH...and just as I want my son to be within my grasp...I shouldn't forget my position as a daughter! Wrestling is ok, and encouraged....because HE knows this journey, and HE wants to travel along with me. Wrestling says I'm not giving up on this, it brings me near to HIS heart!
And Harper...such zest for life, charisma and humor that is so needed on so many days! But, mostly that kid is quick to forgive an offense and right a wrong. She has been ever since she was a very little girl. She takes more nudging recently as do we all, but it was such a clear picture that He is in control, He is victorious, and all the time life would be more full of humor if I just laid down my cares to begin with!
And my Kai...her story of redemption, that has nothing to do with me! Her attachment to me really hit home this morning...because I so long to reach out to the Father as she does me. Not just in times of desperation and quiet pleas, but in a way that just says ABBA Father! I just need you, no one else will do!
For an impatient vessel this is such a hard lesson...I don't want to miss the time at HIS feet because I was so grumbling all of the things that are totally out of my control!
As Joli waits...she has no grasp on what is to come! It's interesting to be on the outskirts looking in...but it's evident that even though I can see this part of her story coming...it's HIM who narrates each page. I have to press in, BE STILL, quiet my 1000 thoughts and just remind myself that
Romans 5:5Amplified Bible (AMP)
5 Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
As we were talking about Jesus Calling, I asked Tin whether God moved or did we? She laughed and said we do! He remains the same! I'm in the middle of the best class I've ever taken. The topics are all over the map, the hours are long and the homework is ongoing! I wouldn't trade it for the world. Drawing near to the one who calls me daughter! One day at a time...
This song kept rolling around in my head! Hope it washes over you!
Good Good Father- Housefires...google, you'll be glad you did!
Oh, I've heard a thousand stories of what they think you're like but I've heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night You tell me that you're pleased and that I'm never alone You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am I've seen many searching for answers far and wide But I know we're all searching for answers only you provide Because you know just what we need before we say a word You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways to us You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways to us Oh it's Love so undeniable I, I can hardly speak Peace so Unexplainable I, I can hardly think As you call me deeper still as you call me deeper still as you call me deeper still into love love love You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am
