Little Eyes are Watching

G requested his dad dress like him this last Sunday- I'm so thankful Derek honored the request. He was so excited and they both looked handsome. 

With all this time with our kids for the summer this pic reminds me about their little eyes and ears constantly tuned in to us. They live to emulate us- it's a shame because we will continue to disappoint them and fall short because we are so flawed. But God placed them with us and I pray we can honor His confidence in us to steward them to the best of our ability. To make each moment a teachable one and to apologize when we are at fault-

And I pray they'll see the joy that it brings us being their parents, even when we are exhausted, stressed, over- extended and weary. I pray they'll remember the good but in an honest way- we aren't perfect by any means. Funny how snapping a pic can convict a heart- Gods funny that way! We just have to be willing to hear- oh Be still my heart! 

Dedication

We had baby dedication as we celebrated Mothers Day! It was special and we had lots of family come and meet sweet Kai. Dedicating each of our babies has been so special- I think it's a sweet time to show everyone else what we've already vowed to do with each of our children. And getting to sit back and watch little seeds sprout brings us so much joy! Kai has been home for 6 1/2 weeks now...it seems like so much longer, but we just can't remember what we did without her. My cup runneth over. And again a picture of how God has sprung new life in dry wandering deserts that I've spent too much time in. He's so good to us and I'm certain His plan is better. 

Copy Cat ;) 

We've got this cheese thing down! 

What's a ball game without a sucker? Sweet sticky girl! 

"Hash?"

Went to bed giggling last night- remembering this kids funny! 

Kids had McDonald's for dinner because that's what wonderful parents like us serve from time to time- I know better. But, it's part of the funny story, so there you go- Harper is telling us her order and says with some hash in air quotes, Derek and I say huh?! You know hash air quotes again, that oval chicken LOL- you mean a hashbrown made from potatoes...Yes of course that's what she means! So we've had McDonald's for breakfast too now you know and the girl is a fan of "hash"! 

And today in the pool it's 

1st I don't know how this water gun works, 2nd- I can't remember and 3rd I don't know how to do anything! And I haven't forgot about wanting a hash- snacks always rank high on the priority list! She keeps me and Derek rolling! But she clearly learned something at school! Woohoo! Animated and dramatic and wonderful! Harper Love!! 

Schools Out for Summer

I was sort of dreading summertime- 4 kids unoccupied, bored within minutes of leaving the schools parking lot. A 2 month old at home- well she's really almost 2, but by our count she's still fresh and new. My 4 year old was ready to return to school for pre-k after the weekend passed. I hope that's not a reflection of my no fun parenting ;) 

But we are settling in...we are working on lite chores, big kids are doing some review math online- which is fun because they get to use the computer and better for mom that their brains aren't turning into spaghetti. There is piano to practice and books to be read and oh swimming! All 4 are fishes thankfully and there is something tranquil about the water even when someone is crying because they haven't learned to share :/ Kai fell asleep sitting up after pool time today before I got her wet suit off. Lots of hot hot days to go, but it's nice to not have a schedule and get to watch all 4 enjoying Popsicles, because really we wait all winter for Bomb Pops ;) thank you schwans man for meeting all our summertime needs! 

Hope wherever you are you are enjoying some long lazy days...

Venturing out...

All alone- not sure what possessed me, but it had to be done. And we all survived all the way to Amarillo and back. We ran errands, grabbed lunch, had a potty break and we all survived. No major meltdowns (mine I'm speaking of). And napping! My favorite activity ever ;) oh and we got to enjoy the glorious rain-

Mom success!  

Joy

There is nothing that brings more joy than watching a child make a decision to accept Christ as their Savior. I've had the pleasure of being present for both and of course selfishly hope that I will for the little two but God knows His plan. I was reading another devo and it discussed that not all preachers kids are Christian...and off that branch we can gather that not every kid raised in church will be Christian. At first it was hard to swallow. But we aren't Holy Spirits, only stewards of His children...all uniquely their own with free will and journeys that we are pieces of but the goal is that they will stand on their own. We will set them free into the world and I don't want them to fall on only mine and Derek's salvation. It just won't be enough to live on. They need their own bread and faith! And I can't force them into a box that pleases me because ultimately they don't answer to me but to a risen God. 

But our Gunnar decided he Believes in Jesus. Thrill my soul. We have been having conversations over the last 6 months, sometimes silly, sometimes serious and sometimes just to avoid going to bed. And this time he was ready and now ready to also be bapbatized! Lol

Like Derek it's go big or go home and your all in! Jump feet first! Something about that mentality freaks me out, but I can also appreciate his commitment. And it tells me so much about my son. Gather the info, think about it, ask more questions, see what Dad/Mom thinks, reflect, be a goober, make sure you aren't doing it wrong, and lastly make a decision. Processing. Certain.   

We look forward to seeing where God leads- we know it won't be what we anticipate and we know it will look different but it will be Gunnar's journey unique to him. 

I pray he'll grow deep roots, that when he wavers/ wander he'll learn more fully how much he is Loved by God and by his parents. I pray he'll be a leader and a light and that he'll function in that as God intended and not as his parents desire- I pray we won't stand in his way, but be encouragers of his walk and learning who he'll be. He's becoming a wonderful young man and I'm so proud to be his momma! 

No No

We've mastered the no no...it makes me giggle but is too adorable to not leave you smiling. I love that No transcends all language. Kai of course began with the head nod, and it has developed into a clear No No. We thought maybe it was just a new skill but the girl knows what she means. And now no no night night comes rolling on out. Because if she doesn't go night night she won't miss out on anything! 

Apples don't fall Far

                               

I was reading a devotional asking the question of whether we had it to do all over again would we have children again? How dare a parent go there...but I think when you go from 1-4 children somewhere inbetween midnight feedings and sleep deprivation and less brain activity we all wonder how we are doing or how we will make it out alive or with 2,4,6, 8 children?! I wasn't alarmed by the read but intrigued to see how it would end. 

Anyhow what it amounts to is no matter how great we are, no matter what experts we have become, how dedicated we are...we can't guarantee we will produce a healthy happy adult. It's not within our power, because ultimately God is the guide who is molding and shaping them. We are simply a tool. For lack of a better term. 

I was laughing about this with my Garden loving friend and told her I thought its a lot like gardening...we sow the seeds and wait, we can water we can't control the sunlight and we can't see what's happening below the surface. And she laughed and said sometimes nothing grows! Oh dear, or it sprouts up no where near where you planted the seeds, there are weeds to be pulled and areas that need fertilizer! And we know what that is really!!? And there is lots of it, but we have to move forward in faith stepping steadily on truth as our guide and believing that God takes care of all the things we can't see- and covers all our mistakes with grace and mercy. Amen! 

The author said she didn't know that her children would be the chief tools in shaping her...that they needed one another for God to accomplish who they are becoming who they will be. I just love that- and my own mom reminded me of the chiseling that is taking place in my own life- slowly but surely I'm a work in progress. Softer than I once was, but ultimately not who'll I'll be. More patient, hopefully more loving and grateful. All things I hope to model for them. And I always like to check in to see how we are doing...

I asked the kids the other night at dinner what could we do better? It's almost a scary question to ask not wanting to hear how we've failed 9 years into our parenting, but it's so revealing to hear their little hearts open and suggest and see how we will respond. I want my babies to know we are fallible! Imperfect seems like a gross understatement, but we cleave to the one who knows better and wants better for each of us. He brings new mercies every morning- I'm so thankful. 

So standing back with a different perspective I'm struck by our little apples- faces that mimic our reflections and actions! Whoa! Scary, but promising that we all are our own being used to express Gods glory ultimately! We are progressing together and better together because that's how God planted us. 

...because we are not looking at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18 NET)

Oh Boy!

We finished all 18 chapters, Gunnar was so proud. He grabbed the book because a friend had checked it out- so we learned the hard way a few lessons on 'finishing what we start'! It was a family affair, Derek, me, and Tinlee helped him through every page. It's exciting to hear him reading and it was special to see his satisfaction at completion. He's certainly outnumbered around here, but we are so thankful for our rambunctious Boys Boy!!! 

1 month pics...

Kai didn't see the need for any fuss- but we had fun celebrating our first month together! 

Enough already ;) 

Not a fan of the sticker! 

That's all folks!