Apples don't fall Far

                               

I was reading a devotional asking the question of whether we had it to do all over again would we have children again? How dare a parent go there...but I think when you go from 1-4 children somewhere inbetween midnight feedings and sleep deprivation and less brain activity we all wonder how we are doing or how we will make it out alive or with 2,4,6, 8 children?! I wasn't alarmed by the read but intrigued to see how it would end. 

Anyhow what it amounts to is no matter how great we are, no matter what experts we have become, how dedicated we are...we can't guarantee we will produce a healthy happy adult. It's not within our power, because ultimately God is the guide who is molding and shaping them. We are simply a tool. For lack of a better term. 

I was laughing about this with my Garden loving friend and told her I thought its a lot like gardening...we sow the seeds and wait, we can water we can't control the sunlight and we can't see what's happening below the surface. And she laughed and said sometimes nothing grows! Oh dear, or it sprouts up no where near where you planted the seeds, there are weeds to be pulled and areas that need fertilizer! And we know what that is really!!? And there is lots of it, but we have to move forward in faith stepping steadily on truth as our guide and believing that God takes care of all the things we can't see- and covers all our mistakes with grace and mercy. Amen! 

The author said she didn't know that her children would be the chief tools in shaping her...that they needed one another for God to accomplish who they are becoming who they will be. I just love that- and my own mom reminded me of the chiseling that is taking place in my own life- slowly but surely I'm a work in progress. Softer than I once was, but ultimately not who'll I'll be. More patient, hopefully more loving and grateful. All things I hope to model for them. And I always like to check in to see how we are doing...

I asked the kids the other night at dinner what could we do better? It's almost a scary question to ask not wanting to hear how we've failed 9 years into our parenting, but it's so revealing to hear their little hearts open and suggest and see how we will respond. I want my babies to know we are fallible! Imperfect seems like a gross understatement, but we cleave to the one who knows better and wants better for each of us. He brings new mercies every morning- I'm so thankful. 

So standing back with a different perspective I'm struck by our little apples- faces that mimic our reflections and actions! Whoa! Scary, but promising that we all are our own being used to express Gods glory ultimately! We are progressing together and better together because that's how God planted us. 

...because we are not looking at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18 NET)