Referral Day a Year Later

For our adoption process, we had to fill out a Medical checklist for 'special needs', because we weren't going to wait 6-7 years for what *hina calls a 'healthy' child. We were prepared to complete our adoption in 2 years. We had barely began gathering items to complete our dossier when on April 30th last year we received the call! Would you like to see a file? What? Is that even possible? This particular file was marked as special focus- meaning she was labeled with more than one need. We had selected prematurity in addition to some other needs and that flagged us for this file- we said yes and waited!  As we paced waiting for the email to download- the photo above is the first glimpse at our girl!!! She was 6 months in the photo, 10 months old when we were matched. It's crazy to think your going to review a file and accept it or not- we had prayed and prayed and prayed for clarity outside of our emotions and just that we would know know know that this is who God intended for our home. It's so overwhelming! More so than anything we've ever experienced. We sent her file to be reviewed by pediatricians and nurses and weighed the possibilities. And prayed! And well you know the end of the story- all I know now is God continued to confirm our decision. Several times over the last year! It's been incredible and certainly supernatural! There were days when the hours felt like they were moving in slow motion. It stretched and strengthened our faith and trust in The Lord. A year later and she's upstairs with her brother and sisters, God is so Good! 

18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18 

We've heard how blessed Kai is?! Well don't miss that she has blessed us in a way we can hardly describe. We get a glimpse of what it means that God adopts us and loves us as His own & rescue, well she rescued us from ourselves- as selfish and worldly as we are. It seems different maybe from your point of view, but we so often get stuck building our little kingdom we forget to look to God to see what His desires for us are. We talk often about what we can do, sometimes we forget that we can take action! 

The Little Things

There are so many things I want to remember about this stage and transition and Kai as a baby...here's a few...

When your ready for bed you hum and rock...And you thump your leg to go to sleep- thump thump thump

When we carry you and your excited or happy you kick your legs freely 

You sit down with your legs in a W 

You have a happy growl- we love to mimic 

Your a copy cat- from talking on the phone to crossing your legs, you mimic dad and I both

You walk and weeble wobble- we decided sort of like ET ;) 

You love to pat-a-cake and mark it with a K

You love to click your tongue and smack your lips

You are great at blowing kisses

Dad received your first and many slobbery kisses

you Love to clap

When sung to or when you hear music you sway from side to side 

When I sing to you, you hum along- so precious! 

Sometimes you walk with your hands on your hips but with your hands flat on your back- you started this strut in Guangzhou! 

You cock your head to the side when someone does it to you

You can cut your eyes at us already in a teasing way to get our attention 

You Love to be outside

You Love to ride in the stroller 

You are very observant- you watch every little move we make, there's no tricking you 

You adore your daddy

You'll try any food- you quickly spit it out if your not a fan

When we change your diaper you have a silly wiggle dance you do

You are fearless and love the bathtub 

Showing off your belly button is so much fun

No is NOT your favorite word

you do rattle off dada...

You can be found regularly on Tinlee's hip

We joke that your mama sounds like the not nice tone-the 4th tense that we vaguely remember- wish I could remember what it means...

I was thinking I remember the first time I called my grandmother 'Mom'...I actually corrected myself and we had the 'talk' over who she is and that it's ok. I know today in your eyes I'm a caregiver- you continue to study me very closely- you more than likely called your nanny mama...and I know I am still earning that title whether you know what a momma should be or not...so I look forward to the day that you call me your 'momma' because that's who your heart tells you I am- my heart made me your Mom before I ever saw your sweet face so the journey is well worth the wait...almost 1 month in, I'm not sure what life was like before you! 

We love you more...beyond,beyond! 

10

And the Fairy Tale continues...seems more like 'these are the days of our lives'! Not to be a downer, but we crossed the threshold 10 years ago, and today... I feel like junk-I just can't kick this post jet lag bug of whatever is attacking my immune system, Derek is on a field trip with Harper (who absolutely needs some one on one), Gunnar has a scrimmage at the SandLot (he got on base! Woohoo), Tinlee had gymnastics and now is rushing to finish homework (oh 3rd grade), Kai has been in my arms most of the day (unless I was so icky feeling I had to bribe her to sit beside mommy and not on mommy) I mean it's a day to remember that's for sure! And we've been home just weeks from *hina- some days we don't know if we are coming or going. And crock pot meals are super but not if we can't remember to take them out to thaw! And I'm not sure when the last time Derek and I had a normal conversation that wasn't just our schedule and who's picking up who?! It's the best of everything, but not at all like Ken and Barbie. 

Derek was not a believer when we got married so our lives looked radically different than they do today. But there was something in Derek that I chose! A diamond in the rough and he really does shine from time to time. He's my favorite person to pester and love. I get the joy of doing both since I'm his wife right?! 

We had no idea what marriage would require of the two of us when we jumped in! Bright starry eyes and young!!! I was only 22 and Derek my older and wiser beau was 24. We have moved 5 times, not many over 10 years but each time we are amazed at the junk we have acquired. We've struggled and cried and had deep hurts and BIG love. 

And it is a our 'fairy tale' just not like you see in the movies! It's our life better than we could have ever planned for ourselves. Derek has been blessed and successful at everything he's been involved in and that has given me the privilege of staying at home with the best pieces of us! And it's given him the flexibility to be super dad! And he is! He's present and usually the only guy in a sea of moms, but that's how we operate. 

We surely will have to pay for numerous counseling bills in their late lives, but we are determined to do better together! We have 4 fabulous kiddos, and a small town life that has blessed us beyond beyond.

We don't look like we once did, nor are we who we were 10 years ago and we are grateful for that. We have prayed against complacency and are always up for trying a new way because ours lives and our kids are always changing. We don't fit a mold and our marriage certainly won't look like so and so's and that's ok. Because we were made for one another and when we operate in that space it is a 'fairy tale', one I hope my kids will appreciate! Filled with lots of laughs and even more love! It's messy but it's our mess! Here's to many more to come! 

Resurrection Sunday

We had a wonderfully blessed Easter Sunday. It was a beautiful day. Kai had a good night and happy morning. We braved the day and headed to church. Derek and I considered it a win that all 6 of us were dressed and ready to go together. Big kids were excited to see the new worship room at church. Kai loved worship and then we made our exit to the play room. She was curious as usual and there is no sitting still with this toddler. We came home and got lunch ready...Kai took a good nap! And then it was egg hunting time...it's crazy to look around and see 4 kids. It's better than we could have ever imagined. We are so thankful for the hope we have in Jesus Christ. 

One Week...Wow

Tomorrow marks 1 week home...this time last year we had just received our dossier guide and packet detailing everything we needed to begin working on to begin our adoption process. 10 days earlier we had filled out our medical checklist and had received an email letting us know we should be prepared for a 6-12 month waiting period before being matched. And it's been a wonderfully tiring, emotional, wonderfully blessed week! 

Derek got to feed Kai a bottle, it was precious and a great step in their bonding. They are middle of the night friends ;)...

Early on during the week- this was our depiction of jet-lag joys. Keeping her in sunshine did not work to my advantage on this day...

A pediatrician appointment led to running errands and stopping by Nana and Papa's house. Kai is a fan of Nana... We think she must still remember that baby bribe from the airport ;) 

And Big Brother Gunnar finally got some one on one love. He was so excited and proud that she came and sat in his lap. Kai has taken time to get to know all the kids. It's been sweet to watch. The girl loves the outdoors so I know soon she'll be running and chasing Gunnar! 

Poor Harper had a bad ear infection this week, it's not fun to have a kid down. She was excited to sleep in her twin Jammie's. She's been adjusting into her Big sister role. It's been hard, especially with your ear aching and needing your Momma's attention. 

Our first egg hunt...

A walk outside with dad, sunshine is welcome after our homecoming snow. 

And Tinlee- this girl, I just can't say enough about her. Of course I'm partial but I'm always caught off guard by her heart. 'Break my heart for what breaks yours', easy lyrics to sing. But Tinlee feels deeply for people. It's innate to who she is. God has been teaching her and making her alert to others through this experience! Oh the seeds that are being planted. We talked about the whys and how's of adoption. She is so special! I can't wait to see what God has purposed for that girl! 

And this Girl! Well we are over the moon... I mean look at her! Filling her empty chair! She loves to sit in it, and I love that the kids know it's her chair! It's been here with us while she was an ocean away. A constant visual reminder of our wait...it's filled! It's wonderful and we are so thankful!!! 

Coming Home

Coming home-early morning, 4.5 hrs to Japan, 10 to Denver, 56 minutes to Amarillo...snuck a nap in the Denver airport! It was so awesome to land in the USA...lots of emotions as we prepared to make our last flight home.

Sweet family waiting for us anxiously at the airport! 

Sweet friends who have been along for this joyous ride with us...I wish they could have all come along to see what a wonderful journey we have had...

Speechless...

Meet Nana, looking to mom to make sure this is ok. And excited to explore her new doll. 

Baby was a hit- she doesn't know what to do with more than 1 toy...there was lots to absorb as she landed in Texas for the very first time! 

I love these two photos of Harper...she has waited so long to be a BIG sister and was faithful to pray daily for Kai. She just squeezed me and told me she was so happy we were home and just stared at me in the car and said, we are all together ;) I don't know where my little girl has gone! In 18 days she felt all grown up picking her up in my arms. 

And thanks to Gabe & Kathleen...these pictures are priceless!!! I love those deep almond eyes- I always wonder what in the world she could be thinking! 

And to finish off the welcoming- Braxton went in for a hug!! Love love love!!!!

84 miles to go, but thankful to have a full car for the ride home! 

Jesus Calling yesterday talked about trust- and that there is always a fork in the road where we either trust intentionally or rebel. A fork forced us to trust God had something better for our family...I'll say it again! His ways are better...and we are learning to trust intentionally! Extremely jet-lagged but with happy hearts we are grateful to be home!! 

But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” (Psalm 31:14 ESV)

Last day Fun

Our final day began with FaceTime at breakfast! The wifi in our rooms the last portion of the trip was no good, so it was hard to find time to see face to face with the kiddos busy days. But this one was fun knowing mom and. Kai would soon we heading to the airport! 

AiLe made a new friend with Liz...I love the concrete truck in the background. Never knew what we might see venturing out! She held on tight as we enjoyed our last day out.

A portion of the area we shopped in- I didn't snap a pic of where we ventured off! Skinny back alley ways with people selling all sorts of goods. That's where the bargaining was happening. And you got a good taste of *hina for sure! 

AiLe loves to dance and we went in this belt store and Liz and Neely started line dancing! I was cracking up, she was not amused and would only shake it when no one was watching. 

This is blurry but I love it- it reminds me of all the fun we had. Kids kept us laughing and all the sights and smells did too! I'm thankful to be home, but had such a great time away! 

Kai loved riding in the stroller- and snuck a nap while we were out and about! 

Sweet baby sleeping before mom had to wake her at 4:45 to get dressed and head down to the lobby...

Exploring...

Liz has been all over wandering while Kai and I nap. Today after nap time we wandered to a grocery store- along the way stopped at a 7-11 where Neely tried corn soda! Lol

Looked like a can of cream corn juice, we picked up some cookies and goodies for our afternoon. Kai had some koala bear cookies she loved and smeared all over mom! I had a Fanta- not terrible but not Coca Cola! 

So we ventured off on a side street where all sorts of venders were selling anything from food, clothes, plumbing parts, and even what looked like a dollar store! 

The kids snacked and people watched and we tried to avoid the stray cats and fish heads! What a sight! 

 We did stumble upon some delicious bread!! There was a long line so we decided it looked non-threatening enough! The dough looked like cake batter! And the bread was warm and wonderful! Kai was loving every bite! It was like a mix between a roll, waffle, pound cake?! If there is such a thing! So delicious! 

First Ride! Lol

AiLe not a big fan...

We were also scolded on the street, I'm not sure if he was scolding me because he thought I was Chinese or the girls because we were letting them share chips or what. That's when the language barrier is odd. My concern was not what he may or may not have said to us but what the girls might have understood- people are interesting that's for sure. 

Along with those types of encounters we have also experienced some really kind people. When I made my first flight alone, a man and older woman gave up their seats for another mom and myself who's arms were full with babies and bags. I was shocked because we were crammed in like sardines. A lovely old woman just admired Tinlee and smiled and waved at her and snuck peeks during one of our flights- sweet Tinlee said mom she's really sweet. And when we ordered at restaurants the waiters were kind to help when we wanted to avoid ordering anything with nuts. And this morning  at the consulate the lady told me how cute Kai was in her visa pic with her pony.  I know it doesn't seem like much, but for people always heading somewhere with purpose these small encounters intrigued me for sure. There's just too many questions I would like to ask- one trip can't satisfy all the things I'd like to know to share with my daughter. But it's been a wonderful journey just getting my toes wet. As I read her finding ad- I'm amazed at how small the world seems from a tiny town in Texas to a country of billions! I'm thankful this is where we have been led. We've shared the journey with several other sweet families following a call. It's an intense roller coaster of emotions! And such wonder in the moments of pure joy! 

I can't say who rescued who?!? I just know God had Kai written in our story long before we did. I've learned so much and know this is only the beginning. Joy does spring from grief- thank you Anne Voscamp. And healthy perspective-Thanks does change our hearts...this could have been a miserable trip-18 days God has been near every moment-it's been a great time for us to bond. And His providence is so very sweet. He's a good God all the time! 

Consulate Day!!

Our entire trip is arranged around our consulate appointment! It was exciting to check our last BIG item off the list and Mei Mei looked adorable of course! 

Eyes closed but so stinking cute!! Other pics are on Lizzie's phone..it was organized and fast as all our stops have been. Visa pick up is tomorrow afternoon. So I'll start seeing what I can pack! Something about red white and blue leaves you feeling proud. Prayers as we make the long trek home. She's a delight and I can't wait for you all to meet her!! 

...

I just counted out how many days I've been in *hina yesterday- it hasn't crossed my mind, I just have counted time by the agenda. Checking things off one at a time. And I've enjoyed it all- it is exhausting being out of my space, but I've napped daily and can do as much or as little as we can stand and I get the pleasure of being with Kai all day- the time with just her and I will be limited when we come home, so I'm relishing it all...Watching all the kiddos bloom and grieve is interesting...everyone has their own way or time- we laughed that we were thankful it wasn't all of them at once. Some days everyone looks a little weary, but new mercies come every morning. A better nights sleep, good eating, a turn for the better- well we ventured to the zoo yesterday! Against my better judgment, mind you I should have known better- miss Kai has been great so she was due for a meltdown. She was sleepy and it was hot! She fussed her way all the way through the zoo- Liz laughed and said she's officially normal! Toddler tantrum day was wearing me down. She wanted to walk everywhere, the grounds were uneven and she was tripping all over, she wanted ice cream then threw it on the ground, she wanted to climb over the fences with the animals, she wanted to be held, then wanted down, you get the drift. Thankfully, a good nap, bathtime and food and we were all smiles again...

Don't let this cute face full you- and a pic some of the days attractions...

Then we all met in the lobby for group pictures, so fun to see all the kids in their festive outfits... Kai was proud and looked very pretty. And we survived without any major meltdowns- you know taking pics of children is like herding wild cats! 

She was smiling at Liz- so cute!! 

Family pic- missing some members- but soon we will be together! 

The whole gang...and then the babies, older siblings had to join the fun. It was like the red carpet with all the flashing cameras...

And then to finish out the evening supper with friends... 

And then ice cream! Oh boy!!! 

To get the full experience it must be squished in hands!!