Hump Day!!!

We applied for Joli's visa...when it is in hand we are ready to roll. When we land in TX she'll be our newest little American. We of course brought out our red white and blue for the occasion. 

We took group photos in traditional Chinese dress. Joli was feeling pretty fancy. You could tell she knew just how beautiful she looked! 

Here we are...you can read Kai's excitement...we were ready for lunch half an hour earlier! 

And lunch...I made everyone smile...a picture doesn't really do it justice. The last two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions...but this group! They really helped lift spirits and encourage. It was life in our sails lots of days. And get this?!...this table...a combination of 24 children! I would love to see us all in one room together! Just a dull roar of wonderful ;) I look forward to hearing how your stories continue to unfold. God has been gracious and wonderful to each of us and I'm so grateful He let us break bread together! 

Beyond Beyond

Today we shopped our socks off! We took a short trip to Shamian Island. Used to families would stay on the island to complete their adoptions. This statue is famous for tourists and adoptive families in particular. You see my sweet daughters there? Lol, no because they were scary statues! It's almost like stepping in to Savannah, Georgia...minus the banyan trees. 

Joli loves to walk, and today did lots of exploring...

She's too sweet for words...she has quite the growing personality! 

Kai let her do all the work today...someone is adjusting to this big sister thing. 

Saying hello to a fellow friend. He was kind to her with her being all in his personal space. 

"A yes to the Lord is impossible to qualify on earth because it is Kingdom business. It has eternal repercussions, soul-changing ripples that reach all the way to heaven's shore. That first step into the shallow end is as glorious an act of obedience as the leap off the diving board."-She Reads Truth 

Today we shopped a store that gives back to Chinese orphans. A local stopped us and was asking lots of questions about our girls. She shared that she's adopted herself. She raises money to do heart surgeries for orphans. People really do have an amazing capacity to change the world just one small act at a time. In this place that's so foreign, moments like these make it feel so much like home. It holds stories of our daughters past and our present...we can't help but be overwhelmed by God moving before and behind us. 

As I watch Joli on her shaking legs, taking new steps she reminds me what this journey is like. It is glorious jumping in, but I've often felt my weakness shaking before me. Wading in to the deep and through the unknown carries lots of what if's. Reading that excerpt from She Reads Truth is such a welcome reminder that this journey has repercussions we can't see. 

We just have to keep saying yes...

When we are weary and weak...yes

When we aren't sure if we have the capacity to love...yes

When we get bad news...yes Lord

When the story changes...yes 

Just one small yes at a time! He is a faithful and good good God. 

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus through it all generations, for ever and ever! Amen -Ephesians 3:20-21 

Medical Appointment and River Cruising

We survived Joli's medical appointment. Since she is over 2 she had to have her blood drawn which I was dreading in a big way. There were tears but the nurses were efficient and she recovered with a sucker in no time. This wing is for adoptive families only. CCAI stays full of families so it was also only our agency. Makes for a long morning, but we were happy to check it off our list. Tomorrow morning we have our US consulate appointment! Last step to bringing our Chinese American home...after her visa arrives we are free to head home! 

We finished our day with a pizza party on the Pearl River Cruise. The grand finale is the 3rd tallest tower in the world. It's nice to get out with the other families. Good for morale...laughter is good medicine! 

When Joli smiles her whole face lights up. She's the sweetest teeny girl! 

Gunnar got roped into the entertainment. The clown really didn't give anyone a choice and demanded we take our child's pictures lol. Gunnar was happy to be included. Kai and Joli not so much! 

Traveling with toddlers is just as taxing as it sounds. We are ready to be back together as a family of 7!!!! Miss our big girls more then words can express. But the journey is worth all the miles and lack of sleep. In just a small amount of time we've watched our little girl bloom. Slowly but surely. It is a wonder what love can do! 

Temple Sights/ Old Chen House...and about that boy!

We made it to GZ...last stop before we get this part of the catastrophe joined with our big girls! Flight was less turbulent which was a huge blessing...G played Crossy Road, K napped, and J played and snacked with Dad. It was a success for sure. 

It's nice to have new places to see and of course a countdown to coming HOME. Today we toured a Buddhist temple. Derek missed out on the last trip since he and Tinlee headed home early. So it was fun for him to get to see all the places I remembered. 

Gunnar asked lots of questions about beliefs etc. I am convinced we are ALL made to worship...and if not Jesus someone or something. This temple was built over 1100 years ago, it is a sight. We got to observe monks coming and going and lots of people offering sacrifices and gifts for certain fortunes. 

At the Old Chen House they have all sorts of Art displayed. Jade sculpting, wood sculpting, ivory work, embroidery, calligraphy. We selected a scroll for Joli to match Kai's. There Chinese names are written on them...this time we got to watch him work. It is a beautiful art and a special treasure for them to have from their culture and beginnings. 

While we were there a lady from Kansas recognized Kai from our adoption video. When she recognized Kai she also noticed Derek- when you meet in China, the world seems so small! She was telling Derek how it was part of the inspiration for them to adopt. She had her new sweet baby in her arms and was telling her MIL about us. Is that not crazy?! I'm so thankful God has used sweet Kai to sew into other families for hope in growing their families. In a million years I wouldn't have ever guessed we'd have met face to face! 

Gunnar's favorite attraction of the day. Kai said he is cary (scary) and made sure to cover her face. 

He's strong willed and determined, one day he's going to be a great man. But for real- he pushes me to the limit. I have no idea how to speak his language most days and he makes me feel like I have never parented any little person ever. I've prayed for the seeds that will be sewn on this trip. I know he won't come away from the experience empty handed. His name means Warrior...so shy away is not in his nature. I'm thankful he has come to experience this piece of his sisters history. Being the only boy is a big job, but he's developing quite the character as he continues wrestling with us; he's figuring out who he will be. I know he's destined for big things for sure! 

An outing.

We headed to the aquarium today. The kids fed the sea turtles. 

Kai searched and searched to find Nemo...she was disappointed, but very happy to find Dori! We love blue fish, not pink, orange, yellow or black, BLUE. With exception of Nemo of course. 

Gunnar wanted to see a jellyfish...and the Sharks....pretty cool along with lots of other fish we'd never seen before! 

Our trip here in ZZ has come to an end. Our Peanuts passport is supposed to be delivered some time around 6pm. Tomorrow we head to Guangzhou to get settled in for our last leg of the trip! 

Pray for all the kiddos...this trip is hard. Some are having more trouble transitioning then others. It makes Moms and Dads weary very quickly. 1 week to go...woohoo! 

The silence was deafening....

We didn't visit Kai's orphanage. That day was so hard on Kai we opted out. This round we had a different day to choose from being in the same town. I honestly had no idea what to expect. Joli's orphanage is the largest (800+)in the Henan province. Founded in 2006. I'm not sure if those are bragging points, but hard facts to swallow. That includes all the children on and off site that are considered children from ZZ. 

Joli was living with a foster family who lives in an apartment within the orphanage grounds. We walked from room to room seeing where each newly adopted child was in class or slept. Filled with waiting children, there was this hush over the whole place. Quiet, sterile, sad...even in the best of conditions an orphanage is no place for a child. We followed until we came to a tall building. Her family was tucked within on the 5th floor. 

We went right up, her bed linens folded and ready to be put away in her absence. Such a bizarre feeling standing in that space. So thankful that's no longer her home, but flooded with emotions. Hard to wrap my head around those conditions and care. The foster father had very kind eyes, he was very welcoming, he even asked if I'd like to sit and join him. He said Joli was very smart, a fast learner, and had a mind of her own. He said his wife cried a lot when she left...she entered while we were still there...she came in expecting to see Joli. She wouldn't make eye contact with me, I could see her disappointment and obvious grief. Our guide said they were hoping to see her. It's such a torn place to know we've severed these ties. Just all sorts of crazy emotions I didn't expect to feel. I could hardly squeeze out a thank you for caring for my daughter to be translated. Obvious communication barriers, but love does transcend all language. And they were doing their best. Proud to have had her in their care. 

We didn't see the orphanage as a whole. I'm pretty sure that might have sent me over the edge. Honestly I'm speechless. It's one thing to have an idea, or a photo and thoughts of what it's like. It's a whole new dynamic to walk the halls and be haunted by all those little faces. An orphange is no place for a child. The silence was deafening...

Wednesday from ZZ with love...

Joli making eyes at Dada ;) 

After the longest day in adoption history...some drama for you to understand...this is not a cake walk.

 We had day two which began with a meeting and paperwork for days, and the best birthday party ever. A new member of one of the families turned 14! She's so fabulous and full of life, I can't wait to hear how her homecoming goes. Then we headed off for Passport pics for Joli. There was a whole gang of us so it was a little taxing. When we left one office, I asked are we finished...another Dad chuckled- seriously if only it were that simple. The whole process wasn't terrible for sure, but it was way better then the smells- oh dear!

Today's a lazy day. We headed to Starbucks. Trying to maintain our sanity with our new little one, Kai adjusting to this life altering New thing, and Gunnar...my middle SON God love him...the wrestling has yet to end. All that to say because we aren't perfect parents, up for admiring or any such thing. We just are willing, weak people who believe in a God who is bigger then us and who fills in all the gaps. Thankful for Grace and new mercies every morning. 

Derek made the hike over to a restaurant we loved when we were here with Kai. Being at a different hotel, it's a trek from here. All 3 are napping currently. It's a beautiful thing. Remember me mentioning sanity. And say a prayer for Gunnar. He and I will be visiting the orphanage tomorrow. It will be hard. But, I think necessary...for both of us. 

About turning 14- in China this in when a child ages out of the system! I'm not an expert but had there been a glitch before her birthday yesterday she wouldn't have been available to adopt any longer. We are surrounded by all kinds of families...young, older, new parents, party of 12, party of 10, wow...and each child is so different. This process is so hard and begins with such loss. All that to say...if you've ever had an inkling to adopt, or passing thought of fostering or maybe there's room for 1 more. Revisit it! Seriously, it will cost you, financially, emotionally, creature comforts, you fill in the blank...but that's all worth the difference you can make in the life of a child. I don't care where...local, international, familial, whatever God lays before you...be willing to say Yes- Yes! 

I can sense all the doubts and questions before you. I've asked them. Let your faith be bigger than your fear! Thank you Christine Caine. Earlier in this process I was asked several times what's your biggest fear? And a friend said well what if...what if she doesn't ever walk, talk, you fill in the blank, what if? Does that make you turn away? You'll care for a child this side of heaven for a breath- than there's eternity! That gave me new perspective. I'll add I'm not saying jump in where you will drowned...we all are equipped for what we can handle...but we forget about all the blessing on the other side of saying Yes Lord! 

What if this child brings more joy then you've ever know. What if they teach you volumes and chapters about love and Gods goodness and redemption. I don't know what it may be for you! But I know it's waiting for you! 

What if you said yes?...sleep tight! 

Happy Joli Day!

What a day...Gotcha day was in a new location...we didn't meet Joli first, but almost last. Waiting in that room time seemed to stand still. But then there she came down the hallway!!! 

Derek won Rock Paper Scissors so he got to her first; I kid, sort of ;) she was visibly upset, but he soothed her quickly with snacks and they became fast friends. 

She is so tiny, but mighty!!! I mean she has been just surviving!!! In a sea of 800+ children. She's the smallest 3 year old I've ever seen. It really breaks me in two, seeing her beside her sister just 2 months older! She's so delicate almost fragile. But she's with her family now and for that we are so grateful!! 

Derek has turned to putty and they've been getting along just wonderfully. 

They took a trip to Walmart for new shoes, he gave her a bath, her update said she didnt like to have her hair washed but he was ever so gentle and she came out squeaky clean and all giggles. 

Today our adoption was also finalized- this typically takes 24hrs but today their was an exception for a VIP of the province who wanted to witness our adoptions. This made for an exceptionally long day! All 14 children were troopers! 

Joli's file had all sorts of red flags or things that induce fear for an adoptive mom. Afraid of strangers, doesn't like to be held...so on and so forth. So I was a wreck up to this first meeting. Derek says you've got to trust What God is doing. 

And a prayer from a friend was such salve for the soul today: 

Praying this over y'all today!! I am confident God is into all of the details!!  Love is one thing that can be felt through language and cultural barriers... I trust knowing Joli is gonna feel the head over heels love you have for her little self! 

Praying for rest... Easy going and well behaved kiddos and for some God moments along the way! 

It makes me think of prepping for birth... So scary but u keep thinking of what comes after the pain... A precious life! And it becomes so worth it!

Love y'all so very much!!!

Derek's steadfast spirit is the calm in my storm so often. It has been All JOY to watch him with sweet Joli today. We have a long way to go but I am sure of the Hope that springs forth with her life! She'll reach her full potential whatever that may be...and I know it's amazing what love can do!!! And she is worthy of love!!! 

The wait is over...now her story begins!!! 

Take 2

                       

We made it over the ocean and through the woods once again. With little sleep and lots of adrenaline we accomplished all of the necessary task for our much anticipated Joli Day! Kai's expression says a lot about how traveling with a toddler goes. We met our fabulous guides who were here when we adopted Kai. It is like reuniting with family. The shared heart brings such comfort as you meet strangers from all over coming with the same anxious anticipation. We had our usual giggles in Walmart...I love seeing other cultures. Something about people watching people who you can't understand is highly amusing for me. Tonight as Kai napped in the stroller of the check out line and Derek using hand motions to communicate at Walmart, he turned around to ask me if people were staring because we were in the 10 item or less line. I laughed loudly; maybe I'm exhausted or its just a combo of all things. All good things. 

We've seen God...little breaths of Him. While waiting on millions (seriously we deal in millions) of people to cross through immigration, a gentlemen asked us to come to the front of the line! Hallelujah. Favor & thanks! And today an older gentleman gave up his seat for me on the bus that transferred us to our plane. This happened with Kai a year ago when I was alone making this trip...I was so moved by such a simple gesture. In the hustle and bustle, kindness in humanity is hard to see...but I'm always moved that God allows us to see goodness in our girls birthplace. Gunnar was recalling these events during different times of the day today- it was a special moment to let him pause and know that these aren't coincidences but the Lord himself moving before and behind us...leaving footprints for us to witness Him. 

Quiet Thoughts

I've been asked a lot about you...Have you been prepared? What will this be like for you? Do you know we are coming? In 125 hrs...your life will change forever...this life that you've only known. It will be a crash of two parents who have waited to hold you in their arms for the very first time (crazy people who are anxious to love and adore you), and you sweet one, leaving everything you've ever known. Adoption begins with loss. Monumental loss, because even with sad conditions, they've been your home, your safe place. Sadly this moment isn't the first loss you've experienced. It is too much for one little person's lifetime. For that I just have to take a moment to pause. 

Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of JOY. Psalm 126:5

There is a silver lining...this wave that crashes so hard moments from now, it holds promise! Hope for your future. Love that you've never known. This loss is not lost on any of us...it's the beginning of the rest of your story. We will be witnesses to God's goodness and restoration. Because He writes the best stories. He is so good at healing all the broken pieces. Josh the founder of CCAI said maybe not this day, but days, months, years from now...after love and trust is built... We get the privilege of watching joy, compassion, love, kindness, all blooming forth from the ashes. Our church family prayed over us Monday night...our pastor prayed for the legacy you will leave. Your grandchildren and family...on a different journey because of this new beginning for you. That left us both speechless...I hope you know how special you are to us. This moment is not one that we foresaw. But we have trusted God's faithfulness and His ways are always better then our own. Soon we will be sleeping under the same star filled sky....that's pretty incredible. Coming for you sweet girl. Anticipating God's goodness and His ever faithful plans. 

And Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5