Catch up!

We arrived safe and sound...exhausted and overwhelmed by sweet greetings! We landed in Texas before we left China on the same day! That crazy just takes it out of you. It's always nice to be Home! We have been busy settling in...Gunnar wrapped his flag football season, Drs checkups for Joli, everyone had a turn being sick, we had Veterans Day and thanksgiving gatherings...its been a whirlwind. All the while smiles on our faces and probably I'm sure looks of distress more then once as we've teetered to find our new normal. 

A supermom I met in China mentioned that adoption exposed our own sin...selfish behaviors...our idols. Not things we jump to expose. 

I've felt so exposed. And more then once like I am just making a huge mess with this catastrophe of ours. But the Lord has just been rolling back with Grace and mercy for this weary Mom. 

Tonight as I was tucking Joli in, tears just leaked out with how good He is. Everything logical and reasonable pointed to a different path for this journey. But this little person's story is so much different then what I was expecting or preparing for. She's had a rough start absolutely!! But in spite of that she is so tender and loving and joy filled...she brings me so much Hope! 

I forget I can't plan what to expect from the Lords path! I've been round this circle before...it continues to expose and also redeem such goodness from God. I do get frustrated thinking- oh here we go again...but really this hard headed momma needs another go! 

All

Is

Grace! 

It is...the good the bad the ugly, the misunderstood, ALL of it. And I'm slowly learning to just press in to that moment of understanding and say Yes Lord! yes! 

Joli is a whopping 21.7lbs...that doesn't sound like much but the change is simply remarkable. I am amazed at her transformation and we are just days in. She babbles off lots of words...Momma, Dada, Harper, Kai Kai, bye bye, hello, no no, sucker ;) and can do a few signs to help with our communication barrier. 

She likes to color and play with stickers. She's getting brave and climbing stairs and chairs! She loves to dance. And she's the best snuggly little thing, we rock and sing...it is absolutely beyond anything I could have imagined. 

I'm a wait for the bottom to fall out of things person. Not glass half full, like my glass has a hole in it kind of person. That's so depressing I know. But I think what God is showing me is this desperate view keeps me searching for Him and when He shows up He shines! Like there's no arguing with Him. 

And thankfully inspite of me. I have this house full of kiddos that amaze me. And I'm allowed new mercies every morning to start again, fresher, and hopefully better then the last...but if not He's still

Good! 

Hump Day!!!

We applied for Joli's visa...when it is in hand we are ready to roll. When we land in TX she'll be our newest little American. We of course brought out our red white and blue for the occasion. 

We took group photos in traditional Chinese dress. Joli was feeling pretty fancy. You could tell she knew just how beautiful she looked! 

Here we are...you can read Kai's excitement...we were ready for lunch half an hour earlier! 

And lunch...I made everyone smile...a picture doesn't really do it justice. The last two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions...but this group! They really helped lift spirits and encourage. It was life in our sails lots of days. And get this?!...this table...a combination of 24 children! I would love to see us all in one room together! Just a dull roar of wonderful ;) I look forward to hearing how your stories continue to unfold. God has been gracious and wonderful to each of us and I'm so grateful He let us break bread together! 

Beyond Beyond

Today we shopped our socks off! We took a short trip to Shamian Island. Used to families would stay on the island to complete their adoptions. This statue is famous for tourists and adoptive families in particular. You see my sweet daughters there? Lol, no because they were scary statues! It's almost like stepping in to Savannah, Georgia...minus the banyan trees. 

Joli loves to walk, and today did lots of exploring...

She's too sweet for words...she has quite the growing personality! 

Kai let her do all the work today...someone is adjusting to this big sister thing. 

Saying hello to a fellow friend. He was kind to her with her being all in his personal space. 

"A yes to the Lord is impossible to qualify on earth because it is Kingdom business. It has eternal repercussions, soul-changing ripples that reach all the way to heaven's shore. That first step into the shallow end is as glorious an act of obedience as the leap off the diving board."-She Reads Truth 

Today we shopped a store that gives back to Chinese orphans. A local stopped us and was asking lots of questions about our girls. She shared that she's adopted herself. She raises money to do heart surgeries for orphans. People really do have an amazing capacity to change the world just one small act at a time. In this place that's so foreign, moments like these make it feel so much like home. It holds stories of our daughters past and our present...we can't help but be overwhelmed by God moving before and behind us. 

As I watch Joli on her shaking legs, taking new steps she reminds me what this journey is like. It is glorious jumping in, but I've often felt my weakness shaking before me. Wading in to the deep and through the unknown carries lots of what if's. Reading that excerpt from She Reads Truth is such a welcome reminder that this journey has repercussions we can't see. 

We just have to keep saying yes...

When we are weary and weak...yes

When we aren't sure if we have the capacity to love...yes

When we get bad news...yes Lord

When the story changes...yes 

Just one small yes at a time! He is a faithful and good good God. 

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus through it all generations, for ever and ever! Amen -Ephesians 3:20-21 

Medical Appointment and River Cruising

We survived Joli's medical appointment. Since she is over 2 she had to have her blood drawn which I was dreading in a big way. There were tears but the nurses were efficient and she recovered with a sucker in no time. This wing is for adoptive families only. CCAI stays full of families so it was also only our agency. Makes for a long morning, but we were happy to check it off our list. Tomorrow morning we have our US consulate appointment! Last step to bringing our Chinese American home...after her visa arrives we are free to head home! 

We finished our day with a pizza party on the Pearl River Cruise. The grand finale is the 3rd tallest tower in the world. It's nice to get out with the other families. Good for morale...laughter is good medicine! 

When Joli smiles her whole face lights up. She's the sweetest teeny girl! 

Gunnar got roped into the entertainment. The clown really didn't give anyone a choice and demanded we take our child's pictures lol. Gunnar was happy to be included. Kai and Joli not so much! 

Traveling with toddlers is just as taxing as it sounds. We are ready to be back together as a family of 7!!!! Miss our big girls more then words can express. But the journey is worth all the miles and lack of sleep. In just a small amount of time we've watched our little girl bloom. Slowly but surely. It is a wonder what love can do! 

Temple Sights/ Old Chen House...and about that boy!

We made it to GZ...last stop before we get this part of the catastrophe joined with our big girls! Flight was less turbulent which was a huge blessing...G played Crossy Road, K napped, and J played and snacked with Dad. It was a success for sure. 

It's nice to have new places to see and of course a countdown to coming HOME. Today we toured a Buddhist temple. Derek missed out on the last trip since he and Tinlee headed home early. So it was fun for him to get to see all the places I remembered. 

Gunnar asked lots of questions about beliefs etc. I am convinced we are ALL made to worship...and if not Jesus someone or something. This temple was built over 1100 years ago, it is a sight. We got to observe monks coming and going and lots of people offering sacrifices and gifts for certain fortunes. 

At the Old Chen House they have all sorts of Art displayed. Jade sculpting, wood sculpting, ivory work, embroidery, calligraphy. We selected a scroll for Joli to match Kai's. There Chinese names are written on them...this time we got to watch him work. It is a beautiful art and a special treasure for them to have from their culture and beginnings. 

While we were there a lady from Kansas recognized Kai from our adoption video. When she recognized Kai she also noticed Derek- when you meet in China, the world seems so small! She was telling Derek how it was part of the inspiration for them to adopt. She had her new sweet baby in her arms and was telling her MIL about us. Is that not crazy?! I'm so thankful God has used sweet Kai to sew into other families for hope in growing their families. In a million years I wouldn't have ever guessed we'd have met face to face! 

Gunnar's favorite attraction of the day. Kai said he is cary (scary) and made sure to cover her face. 

He's strong willed and determined, one day he's going to be a great man. But for real- he pushes me to the limit. I have no idea how to speak his language most days and he makes me feel like I have never parented any little person ever. I've prayed for the seeds that will be sewn on this trip. I know he won't come away from the experience empty handed. His name means Warrior...so shy away is not in his nature. I'm thankful he has come to experience this piece of his sisters history. Being the only boy is a big job, but he's developing quite the character as he continues wrestling with us; he's figuring out who he will be. I know he's destined for big things for sure! 

An outing.

We headed to the aquarium today. The kids fed the sea turtles. 

Kai searched and searched to find Nemo...she was disappointed, but very happy to find Dori! We love blue fish, not pink, orange, yellow or black, BLUE. With exception of Nemo of course. 

Gunnar wanted to see a jellyfish...and the Sharks....pretty cool along with lots of other fish we'd never seen before! 

Our trip here in ZZ has come to an end. Our Peanuts passport is supposed to be delivered some time around 6pm. Tomorrow we head to Guangzhou to get settled in for our last leg of the trip! 

Pray for all the kiddos...this trip is hard. Some are having more trouble transitioning then others. It makes Moms and Dads weary very quickly. 1 week to go...woohoo! 

The silence was deafening....

We didn't visit Kai's orphanage. That day was so hard on Kai we opted out. This round we had a different day to choose from being in the same town. I honestly had no idea what to expect. Joli's orphanage is the largest (800+)in the Henan province. Founded in 2006. I'm not sure if those are bragging points, but hard facts to swallow. That includes all the children on and off site that are considered children from ZZ. 

Joli was living with a foster family who lives in an apartment within the orphanage grounds. We walked from room to room seeing where each newly adopted child was in class or slept. Filled with waiting children, there was this hush over the whole place. Quiet, sterile, sad...even in the best of conditions an orphanage is no place for a child. We followed until we came to a tall building. Her family was tucked within on the 5th floor. 

We went right up, her bed linens folded and ready to be put away in her absence. Such a bizarre feeling standing in that space. So thankful that's no longer her home, but flooded with emotions. Hard to wrap my head around those conditions and care. The foster father had very kind eyes, he was very welcoming, he even asked if I'd like to sit and join him. He said Joli was very smart, a fast learner, and had a mind of her own. He said his wife cried a lot when she left...she entered while we were still there...she came in expecting to see Joli. She wouldn't make eye contact with me, I could see her disappointment and obvious grief. Our guide said they were hoping to see her. It's such a torn place to know we've severed these ties. Just all sorts of crazy emotions I didn't expect to feel. I could hardly squeeze out a thank you for caring for my daughter to be translated. Obvious communication barriers, but love does transcend all language. And they were doing their best. Proud to have had her in their care. 

We didn't see the orphanage as a whole. I'm pretty sure that might have sent me over the edge. Honestly I'm speechless. It's one thing to have an idea, or a photo and thoughts of what it's like. It's a whole new dynamic to walk the halls and be haunted by all those little faces. An orphange is no place for a child. The silence was deafening...

Wednesday from ZZ with love...

Joli making eyes at Dada ;) 

After the longest day in adoption history...some drama for you to understand...this is not a cake walk.

 We had day two which began with a meeting and paperwork for days, and the best birthday party ever. A new member of one of the families turned 14! She's so fabulous and full of life, I can't wait to hear how her homecoming goes. Then we headed off for Passport pics for Joli. There was a whole gang of us so it was a little taxing. When we left one office, I asked are we finished...another Dad chuckled- seriously if only it were that simple. The whole process wasn't terrible for sure, but it was way better then the smells- oh dear!

Today's a lazy day. We headed to Starbucks. Trying to maintain our sanity with our new little one, Kai adjusting to this life altering New thing, and Gunnar...my middle SON God love him...the wrestling has yet to end. All that to say because we aren't perfect parents, up for admiring or any such thing. We just are willing, weak people who believe in a God who is bigger then us and who fills in all the gaps. Thankful for Grace and new mercies every morning. 

Derek made the hike over to a restaurant we loved when we were here with Kai. Being at a different hotel, it's a trek from here. All 3 are napping currently. It's a beautiful thing. Remember me mentioning sanity. And say a prayer for Gunnar. He and I will be visiting the orphanage tomorrow. It will be hard. But, I think necessary...for both of us. 

About turning 14- in China this in when a child ages out of the system! I'm not an expert but had there been a glitch before her birthday yesterday she wouldn't have been available to adopt any longer. We are surrounded by all kinds of families...young, older, new parents, party of 12, party of 10, wow...and each child is so different. This process is so hard and begins with such loss. All that to say...if you've ever had an inkling to adopt, or passing thought of fostering or maybe there's room for 1 more. Revisit it! Seriously, it will cost you, financially, emotionally, creature comforts, you fill in the blank...but that's all worth the difference you can make in the life of a child. I don't care where...local, international, familial, whatever God lays before you...be willing to say Yes- Yes! 

I can sense all the doubts and questions before you. I've asked them. Let your faith be bigger than your fear! Thank you Christine Caine. Earlier in this process I was asked several times what's your biggest fear? And a friend said well what if...what if she doesn't ever walk, talk, you fill in the blank, what if? Does that make you turn away? You'll care for a child this side of heaven for a breath- than there's eternity! That gave me new perspective. I'll add I'm not saying jump in where you will drowned...we all are equipped for what we can handle...but we forget about all the blessing on the other side of saying Yes Lord! 

What if this child brings more joy then you've ever know. What if they teach you volumes and chapters about love and Gods goodness and redemption. I don't know what it may be for you! But I know it's waiting for you! 

What if you said yes?...sleep tight! 

Happy Joli Day!

What a day...Gotcha day was in a new location...we didn't meet Joli first, but almost last. Waiting in that room time seemed to stand still. But then there she came down the hallway!!! 

Derek won Rock Paper Scissors so he got to her first; I kid, sort of ;) she was visibly upset, but he soothed her quickly with snacks and they became fast friends. 

She is so tiny, but mighty!!! I mean she has been just surviving!!! In a sea of 800+ children. She's the smallest 3 year old I've ever seen. It really breaks me in two, seeing her beside her sister just 2 months older! She's so delicate almost fragile. But she's with her family now and for that we are so grateful!! 

Derek has turned to putty and they've been getting along just wonderfully. 

They took a trip to Walmart for new shoes, he gave her a bath, her update said she didnt like to have her hair washed but he was ever so gentle and she came out squeaky clean and all giggles. 

Today our adoption was also finalized- this typically takes 24hrs but today their was an exception for a VIP of the province who wanted to witness our adoptions. This made for an exceptionally long day! All 14 children were troopers! 

Joli's file had all sorts of red flags or things that induce fear for an adoptive mom. Afraid of strangers, doesn't like to be held...so on and so forth. So I was a wreck up to this first meeting. Derek says you've got to trust What God is doing. 

And a prayer from a friend was such salve for the soul today: 

Praying this over y'all today!! I am confident God is into all of the details!!  Love is one thing that can be felt through language and cultural barriers... I trust knowing Joli is gonna feel the head over heels love you have for her little self! 

Praying for rest... Easy going and well behaved kiddos and for some God moments along the way! 

It makes me think of prepping for birth... So scary but u keep thinking of what comes after the pain... A precious life! And it becomes so worth it!

Love y'all so very much!!!

Derek's steadfast spirit is the calm in my storm so often. It has been All JOY to watch him with sweet Joli today. We have a long way to go but I am sure of the Hope that springs forth with her life! She'll reach her full potential whatever that may be...and I know it's amazing what love can do!!! And she is worthy of love!!! 

The wait is over...now her story begins!!! 

Take 2

                       

We made it over the ocean and through the woods once again. With little sleep and lots of adrenaline we accomplished all of the necessary task for our much anticipated Joli Day! Kai's expression says a lot about how traveling with a toddler goes. We met our fabulous guides who were here when we adopted Kai. It is like reuniting with family. The shared heart brings such comfort as you meet strangers from all over coming with the same anxious anticipation. We had our usual giggles in Walmart...I love seeing other cultures. Something about people watching people who you can't understand is highly amusing for me. Tonight as Kai napped in the stroller of the check out line and Derek using hand motions to communicate at Walmart, he turned around to ask me if people were staring because we were in the 10 item or less line. I laughed loudly; maybe I'm exhausted or its just a combo of all things. All good things. 

We've seen God...little breaths of Him. While waiting on millions (seriously we deal in millions) of people to cross through immigration, a gentlemen asked us to come to the front of the line! Hallelujah. Favor & thanks! And today an older gentleman gave up his seat for me on the bus that transferred us to our plane. This happened with Kai a year ago when I was alone making this trip...I was so moved by such a simple gesture. In the hustle and bustle, kindness in humanity is hard to see...but I'm always moved that God allows us to see goodness in our girls birthplace. Gunnar was recalling these events during different times of the day today- it was a special moment to let him pause and know that these aren't coincidences but the Lord himself moving before and behind us...leaving footprints for us to witness Him. 

Quiet Thoughts

I've been asked a lot about you...Have you been prepared? What will this be like for you? Do you know we are coming? In 125 hrs...your life will change forever...this life that you've only known. It will be a crash of two parents who have waited to hold you in their arms for the very first time (crazy people who are anxious to love and adore you), and you sweet one, leaving everything you've ever known. Adoption begins with loss. Monumental loss, because even with sad conditions, they've been your home, your safe place. Sadly this moment isn't the first loss you've experienced. It is too much for one little person's lifetime. For that I just have to take a moment to pause. 

Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of JOY. Psalm 126:5

There is a silver lining...this wave that crashes so hard moments from now, it holds promise! Hope for your future. Love that you've never known. This loss is not lost on any of us...it's the beginning of the rest of your story. We will be witnesses to God's goodness and restoration. Because He writes the best stories. He is so good at healing all the broken pieces. Josh the founder of CCAI said maybe not this day, but days, months, years from now...after love and trust is built... We get the privilege of watching joy, compassion, love, kindness, all blooming forth from the ashes. Our church family prayed over us Monday night...our pastor prayed for the legacy you will leave. Your grandchildren and family...on a different journey because of this new beginning for you. That left us both speechless...I hope you know how special you are to us. This moment is not one that we foresaw. But we have trusted God's faithfulness and His ways are always better then our own. Soon we will be sleeping under the same star filled sky....that's pretty incredible. Coming for you sweet girl. Anticipating God's goodness and His ever faithful plans. 

And Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5

I have a blog?

I haven't blogged since April?? I'm a little shocked and then on second thought...life is chaos around our house. I usually don't know what day of the week it is unless school is in session...so what have we been doing??

Enjoying sweet summertime of course! My one reader called and caught up on our lives recently. My therapist ask every time I'm in her office if I'm writing what I'm learning. I haven't...it's been an interesting season. I feel like I have been very introspective. And if my writing sounds rambly (I'm pretty sure this is not a word), that's just a glimpse of the noise in my heart and head.

Sometimes being at home is so lonely. As my kids get older the quiet seems to be more deafening every time they leave. That said the task of parenting can be so overwhelming when looking at the time left in my home and all the things I hope they'll take with them for the road ahead. Lots of days I feel ineffective and empty. Flat out exhausted most days. Our church just began this study on Marriage Misconceptions. If you want to be happy stay single...;) There is so much more to this message, but we will hang with that one thought. I told my mom I can't wait to hear how having children won't make you happy either!

We sign up for this white picket fence sweet baby of a thing and it's really our AWAKENING, our refining...our furnace! Because ultimately what God desires of our lives is that we reflect HIS image and some of us need more refining than others so it seems. I'll just raise my hand here...

My daughter was amazed that Jesus Calling would echo what her Mom had been trying to explain to her about her emotions and shrugged shoulders and ungrateful heart. That wouldn't be so hard if I didn't know where she got all of her glowing characteristics...
But this morning in the shower God so gently reminded me that this is anything but insignificant! I get the honor and privilege to see HIM face to face everyday through my children. If I'd take my stare off their imperfections that are mine and so UP in my face all of the time...
I see HIM...

In my oldest, Tinlee, such a gentle empathetic heart for others and those in need. Her desire and passion to GO and tell is so alive and bright in that Child. And I can just hear God echo...It's who I am!

And my Gunnar I have spent all this time wrestling with this BOY child I just don't know what to do with sometimes and this morning it was a revealing of me and the Lord wrestling... And a reminder that wrestling isn't a bad thing...it means I am at ARMS LENGTH...and just as I want my son to be within my grasp...I shouldn't forget my position as a daughter! Wrestling is ok, and encouraged....because HE knows this journey, and HE wants to travel along with me. Wrestling says I'm not giving up on this, it brings me near to HIS heart!

And Harper...such zest for life, charisma and humor that is so needed on so many days! But, mostly that kid is quick to forgive an offense and right a wrong. She has been ever since she was a very little girl. She takes more nudging recently as do we all, but it was such a clear picture that He is in control, He is victorious, and all the time life would be more full of humor if I just laid down my cares to begin with!

And my Kai...her story of redemption, that has nothing to do with me! Her attachment to me really hit home this morning...because I so long to reach out to the Father as she does me. Not just in times of desperation and quiet pleas, but in a way that just says ABBA Father! I just need you, no one else will do!
For an impatient vessel this is such a hard lesson...I don't want to miss the time at HIS feet because I was so grumbling all of the things that are totally out of my control!

As Joli waits...she has no grasp on what is to come! It's interesting to be on the outskirts looking in...but it's evident that even though I can see this part of her story coming...it's HIM who narrates each page. I have to press in, BE STILL, quiet my 1000 thoughts and just remind myself that

Romans 5:5Amplified Bible (AMP)

5 Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

As we were talking about Jesus Calling, I asked Tin whether God moved or did we? She laughed and said we do! He remains the same! I'm in the middle of the best class I've ever taken. The topics are all over the map, the hours are long and the homework is ongoing! I wouldn't trade it for the world. Drawing near to the one who calls me daughter! One day at a time...

This song kept rolling around in my head! Hope it washes over you!

Good Good Father- Housefires...google, you'll be glad you did!

Oh, I've heard a thousand stories of what they think you're like but I've heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night You tell me that you're pleased and that I'm never alone You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am I've seen many searching for answers far and wide But I know we're all searching for answers only you provide Because you know just what we need before we say a word You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways to us You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways You are perfect in all of your ways to us Oh it's Love so undeniable I, I can hardly speak Peace so Unexplainable I, I can hardly think As you call me deeper still as you call me deeper still as you call me deeper still into love love love You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am You're a Good, Good Father It's who you are, It's who you are, It's who you are and I'm loved by you It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am

A Bai Jia Bei for Joli Hope

I came across this sweet idea from another blog of an adopted son from China. Kai's is beautiful and I can't wait to share all the stories of her quilt coming together. A picture just doesn't do it justice. It is only fitting that we make the same quilt for Joli that she will also come to treasure. If you have the same material that's great too, that part is totally your choice. My mom and her friends couldn't believe I didn't have a color scheme...that's the beauty in all the parts coming together. 

What is a Bai Jia Bei/ 100 Good wishes Quilt? 

To welcome and celebrate new life, there is a tradition in the northern part of China to make a Bai Jia Bei, or 100 Good Wishes Quilt. It is a custom to invite friends and family to contribute a patch of cloth with a wish for the baby. Part of the patch of cloth goes into the quilt for the baby and the other part of the cloth goes into a book with the wish for the child. The quilt contains the blessings from all the families and friends who contribute a piece of fabric. 

Would you like to participate?? This is what you can do:

1. Select a fabric that you like, or that is meaningful to you. It can be new or used. I'm going to use swatches from the kids blankets that my mom made for them, for their contributions. 

2. Cut one 8" x 8" square & also a scrap piece from the fabric to attach to the Blessing/Verse/ Card...whatever you decide on. Feel free to contribute more than one square. 

The Wish/or Blessing for our Purposes

1. This is your choice, something meaningful to you & your family. It could be a special verse, quote, prayer, card, poem & will be included in the scrapbook with the swatch of fabric to identify your square on the quilt. Remember to sign your blessing. 

2. If you would like you could include why you chose the fabric, so later Kai can read the story of all the love that went into make this Blessing Quilt. 

We'd love to have many different squares so if you'd like to help you can comment or message me & you can mail it on to us! 

Here's an example of a swatch! 

8" Square 

Scrap can be any size; we just want to see which fabric & it can be attached to a plain piece of paper handwritten, or typed, or a card, or whatever you think up-it's up to you! 

I'm thrilled & can't wait to see the final product!! 

It feels like a lifetime...

1 year ago Kai and I were en route coming home from China. The longest of days. Coming off of lots of adrenaline and support of the Holy Spirit to survive our 18 day journey. It never felt like 18 days until we landed in Denver.

At the airport in Toyko, Japan. A little Pee-Pie

I can't believe it's been a year. It feels like she has been a part of our lives for always. 

Who is Kai a year later...she still exudes so many qualities as she did the day we first met. She is a wild observer. She watches your every move and mimics so many details. She is kind and loving. She still has this quietness when she is taking in the world around her. She doesn't miss a beat. She loves to be perched high on your arm, not low on your hip. She loves to be extra close when seated together, preferably with her feet tucked under your legs. She wants to wear a sweater always. First thing to do most days is putting on her shoes. She is still into experiencing her food whether that means playing with it all, throwing it or smearing it all over herself. 

She's also changed so much! She is still tiny and mighty, and weighs in at 26.8 pounds and 2'11" ...she's grown 8 pounds and over 5 inches in height. She's grown 2 shoe sizes. she can be very vocal, she has lots of new words, but they aren't all clear which causes lots of distress. She can say I Love You as clear as a bell, and sign it with both hands. That's the sweetest sound a mommy can hear. She is obsessed with her choc milk. She adores her siblings and calls out to each of them when she first sees them, like hey guys are you here to play? She also can take back toys and assert herself like a toddler blooming into an independent 3 year old. She might be found on the floor laying down demanding sympathy from time to time. She wants to zip up, put her clothes on and shoes by herself. She loves her blankets and stuffed animals. So many friends, Moo Cow, Minnie, Simba, Nala, Hippo, Bear, Teddy Bear, Giant Puppy and the list goes on and on and on. 

Some nights have been long. We've slowly moved out of our newborn stage into exploring her room and playing with toys. Wanting to stay up all night so not to miss out on anything super fun. Grief has been intermittent. But present. It can make a parent feel so helpless. It is also a constant reminder that we can't do this alone. God has been loving and parenting right along side of us. Revealing himself to sweet Kai. Letting her know she is safe and we are constant. It's evident the journey doesn't stop here. Healing takes lots of time.

She brings such joy and life to our home. I hate to imagine a life that wouldn't include her in our story and us in hers. I can't wait to see what God has in store for her. Sewing each piece together ever so delicately. He is in the details. Every single one. Not just for Kai, but for all of us. I'm thankful it's been magnified in her life so it could be revealed to us. Sometimes we miss out on so much of his glory because we just aren't looking in the right places.  

Rebelling against the Pinterest pic mom had in mind...

Easter Hunt with Harpie 

Snack time 

Celebrating our family day...she is a fan of cake!