Joli was living with a foster family who lives in an apartment within the orphanage grounds. We walked from room to room seeing where each newly adopted child was in class or slept. Filled with waiting children, there was this hush over the whole place. Quiet, sterile, sad...even in the best of conditions an orphanage is no place for a child. We followed until we came to a tall building. Her family was tucked within on the 5th floor.
We went right up, her bed linens folded and ready to be put away in her absence. Such a bizarre feeling standing in that space. So thankful that's no longer her home, but flooded with emotions. Hard to wrap my head around those conditions and care. The foster father had very kind eyes, he was very welcoming, he even asked if I'd like to sit and join him. He said Joli was very smart, a fast learner, and had a mind of her own. He said his wife cried a lot when she left...she entered while we were still there...she came in expecting to see Joli. She wouldn't make eye contact with me, I could see her disappointment and obvious grief. Our guide said they were hoping to see her. It's such a torn place to know we've severed these ties. Just all sorts of crazy emotions I didn't expect to feel. I could hardly squeeze out a thank you for caring for my daughter to be translated. Obvious communication barriers, but love does transcend all language. And they were doing their best. Proud to have had her in their care.
We didn't see the orphanage as a whole. I'm pretty sure that might have sent me over the edge. Honestly I'm speechless. It's one thing to have an idea, or a photo and thoughts of what it's like. It's a whole new dynamic to walk the halls and be haunted by all those little faces. An orphange is no place for a child. The silence was deafening...
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