Catch up!

We arrived safe and sound...exhausted and overwhelmed by sweet greetings! We landed in Texas before we left China on the same day! That crazy just takes it out of you. It's always nice to be Home! We have been busy settling in...Gunnar wrapped his flag football season, Drs checkups for Joli, everyone had a turn being sick, we had Veterans Day and thanksgiving gatherings...its been a whirlwind. All the while smiles on our faces and probably I'm sure looks of distress more then once as we've teetered to find our new normal. 

A supermom I met in China mentioned that adoption exposed our own sin...selfish behaviors...our idols. Not things we jump to expose. 

I've felt so exposed. And more then once like I am just making a huge mess with this catastrophe of ours. But the Lord has just been rolling back with Grace and mercy for this weary Mom. 

Tonight as I was tucking Joli in, tears just leaked out with how good He is. Everything logical and reasonable pointed to a different path for this journey. But this little person's story is so much different then what I was expecting or preparing for. She's had a rough start absolutely!! But in spite of that she is so tender and loving and joy filled...she brings me so much Hope! 

I forget I can't plan what to expect from the Lords path! I've been round this circle before...it continues to expose and also redeem such goodness from God. I do get frustrated thinking- oh here we go again...but really this hard headed momma needs another go! 

All

Is

Grace! 

It is...the good the bad the ugly, the misunderstood, ALL of it. And I'm slowly learning to just press in to that moment of understanding and say Yes Lord! yes! 

Joli is a whopping 21.7lbs...that doesn't sound like much but the change is simply remarkable. I am amazed at her transformation and we are just days in. She babbles off lots of words...Momma, Dada, Harper, Kai Kai, bye bye, hello, no no, sucker ;) and can do a few signs to help with our communication barrier. 

She likes to color and play with stickers. She's getting brave and climbing stairs and chairs! She loves to dance. And she's the best snuggly little thing, we rock and sing...it is absolutely beyond anything I could have imagined. 

I'm a wait for the bottom to fall out of things person. Not glass half full, like my glass has a hole in it kind of person. That's so depressing I know. But I think what God is showing me is this desperate view keeps me searching for Him and when He shows up He shines! Like there's no arguing with Him. 

And thankfully inspite of me. I have this house full of kiddos that amaze me. And I'm allowed new mercies every morning to start again, fresher, and hopefully better then the last...but if not He's still

Good!