Sweetest Kai

As Gotcha Day approaches....we anticipate what it will be like in the 'delivery room' with 8 other families. The energy is positve and peaceful and ecstatic!!! If that's possible. We all submerged ourselves into Beijing and enjoyed each moment but now it's Go time! 

Josh told us how crazy Gotcha Day was, but said don't worry hang in there- it will get better...everyone will calm down lol. 

I'm in awe of the God we serve. He goes before us and His plans are better than our own. 

I wanted to rush this process, but He intervened when necessary and prepared the way for us and this Mommy who needed Him to handle my heart with care. I've taken it upon myself as a burden for far too long. It was time to be FREE- to step out of the wilderness because I was made for more.

And as I look fondly at my daughter's face I know God wants me to be FREE to set my daughter free. From grief, from confusion, from loss, from not having all the love and affection a baby needs, to a myriad of other things! 

And He longs for us to be FREE so we can set others free. It's one of the reasons I'm so passionate about sharing my life with others- they are seeds for His glory and I can't see all that will be healed by sharing my heart, but I know He is a promise keeper and He works all things together for Good. 

Sweet Kai was birthed in her mothers womb, and God knew where'd she'd be abandoned and where'd she be cared for and who she'd end up with. I pray that beauty will come from all the broken pieces. For a mother who left her daughter for whatever reason- peace for her. For Kai that this isn't her whole story- just pages in her book- because she was made for more! And that she'll bind and attach herself to us but bigger than us- God- for He is Father to the fatherless and He is All we need! 

I'm so thankful she joins Tinlee, my tender hearted loving young lady. She really is a joy and it's a pleasure to be her mom. Gunnar- our warrior! Beat on your chest boy who loves his momma like his daddy. It's wholesome and good and I hope his sisters marry men that love like he does. He adores his sisters and one day they'll see how lucky they are to have that stinker in tow. And Harper- God let me enjoy her for 4 great years as the baby and she is vivacious and wonderful! A proud big sister and so loving towards all her siblings. She loves Big- and I can't wait to see her face when she finally gets to meet Kai. And Kai, she was fearfully and wonderfully made. She is a beauty! I don't know yet whether she'll be gentle or bossy or funny or .....but I know she is loved!!!! BIG and is a part of our puzzle I couldn't see years ago, but God knew. And we are so grateful for the opportunity to love her extravagantly. 

Just like we as orphans don't have to fit any mold or meet any requirement we just are Loved by God...it's so remarkable and as we prepare our hearts for Easter- I'm in awe of a God who loves us with a never ending never stopping love! He is Good ALL the time. 

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. (John 14:18-20 ESV)